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Life

Life's pretty boring these days. All my buddies are in OCS and here I am. Doing what I do.
But that's alright. Went out with people yesterday.

Let's see. Haha. Went out with vera the babe and gorilla yesterday. Man, we've been craving for Asics DS Trainers XII for a long while. Yeah. Me and vera used to have DS Trainers X. But mine died as I reached the peak of Kinabalu a year ago.

Nownow. Everyone's fired from Asics. Godfrey doesn't work there anymore. The place wasn't even open! So we stoned in the dark corner and talked nonsense for half an hour before we left. The place wasn't gonna open at all.

So we trekked around the industrial area. Just talked about random stuff like we used to. I dunno. Somehow I felt comfy. Perhaps I need friends. Real friends. But that's ok. I'm glad I've joined odac. Met a couple of nutty kids.

Yeah. Was made to enter Nine West ladies footwear sale. Was the only male organism in the entire level. Discovered spongebob panties. And we left the place with only Haribo. Haha.

Trekked further and found a Royal Sporting House factory outlet. They were selling DS Trainers XI for $139.90. Man, there was only one colour. For guys. And it wasn't even nice. So we decided to get XII together someday.

What can i say? It was love at first sight. Hah.

Left and had shrimp dumping noodles for lunch at Toa Payoh. Madness.

Met Charmaine at Sengkang and we wandered off to Chinatown for our ginseng chick. Haha. Arranged to eat (again) at this Togi place along Mosque Street. But it was closing by the time we reached and we found a cooler korean place. Yeah.

I never knew that they stuffed rice into chicks.

Bummed around. Checked out the area. Had a chat over erm. Tea? Hoho. And we left.
Yeah. And I made my way down to lavender. To meet my mum. I was early for about half an hour and I almost dozed off in the station. How pathetic I looked. Been sleeping for only 3 hours a night for the past week.

Yeah. Met mum. Meet relatives to invite them over for baby Javier's first month party on sat. (YES! It's been decided. Kiddo's name's Javier Ling Chun An.) Bummed around. NEARLY had fondue there. Instead, I hiked to Haji Lane with mama and dined at the Egyptian place we (vera, gorilla and I) went to celebrate gorilla's birthday. Guess my mum enjoyed her meal. Haha.

Travelled down to Suntec to find Kiddy Palace. To get a gift for Javier on Sat. They didn't have it. So we went Marina Square instead. Yeah. Both of us bought vouchers for kiddo Javier. Man, everyone loves him like nuts! Heh.

Recced Asics there. DS Trainers XII were going at $209. My, my. We shall go Queensway or something to get it someday.

YES. And that's not it. After bidding farewell to mama, I went Dhobby Gaut to meet Thammy. And Qixiang and Wesley. For pirates 3. Total Madness. Bumped into Amy Tan along the way and we kinda had a nice chat. Movie began at 2245.

Ended 3 hours later. Hoho. We were barely awake. It's pretty cool. Haven't seen those guys in ages. And it's just fun to hang out with them. It just so crappy and comfy. I'll choose my sec4 class over jc class any day.

Cabbed home. Crashed.

Went sis place this morning. Javier's able to recognise people by now. He was staring from place to place and whined whenever his mama's around to get her attention. He was EXTREMELY restless today. Cried for attention all day. Yeah! And he actually has tears for the first time in the last 3 weeks.

Yeah. I threatened to poke him if he wouldn't call me before his parents. Hah. And today. When I was unaware, that little kid poked my nose. When I looked away, he did that again! That. Is. War.

I have no idea how to carry him properly. So it wasn't comfy and he wailed and wrestled with me. Mum popped by (my mum) and hummed some odd tune (she probably came up with it on the spot) and did some peek-a-boos to him. And he stopped. What the?!

When noone's around (I looked around to ensure they weren't around), I huddled up with the kid and tried to do the same to him. Hummed It Ends Tonight to him. Guess what. It works! Hoho. What a proud uncle I am.

Too bad bro-in-law was nearby and saw what I did. How embarrassing.

Everyone gathered around Javier all day. My sis is deprived of her cravings due to confinement. Promised her Godiva choc shake when she's released. Haha.

It's kiddo's first month this sat. Interesting! I've always wanted a baby brother. In fact, that had been my birthday wish every year since I was one or two. And now I have a nephew! Woohoo.

When I'm free I'll post pics up here =)

And yeah. Struggling to save up for Canon IXUS 850. $650. Way to go! I'll get it by next month! Heh.
I'm spending time with my family... At last. =)

What if everything you've been holding on for your very life isn't really there at all? What's the point of going on without faith? Faith in yourself? What if nothing's left of you? Then what?

Someone once asked me. Who are you. Who am I?

I'm jason ong. 19 this year. Serving my national service. Placed on status due to defective arms. Just received a nephew. Was from odac. Had friends close to me.

Now, what if I lose something that I have. Do I remain who I used to be? Oh crap. I don't make sense at all. Again.

Anyway. Today was fun. Bummed around. Did nothing. Did everything. It was fun.

Had my medical appointment today. Yes. Finally, after the past months. It's suspected that I'm born with loose ligaments. Whee. Exciting stuff. Under "intensive physiotherapy" now. To get bulky shoulder muscles. Woohoo.

I love my lavalamp. Its orange in transparent liquid. Perfect for my room. Suits the colour of my paper bin! Haha. Not to mention I have the froggy pouch on the table next to me now. Oh well...

Spent all day at my sis' place today. It's the second time I'm visiting my baby nephew. Yes. Baby. REEEAAALLLyyy tiny. He's a week old as of today. And gosh. Carried a new born for the first time in my life today. Under the watchful eyes of my sis and her hubby. Unnerving.

Before long I could handle the kid with only one arm! began snapping pics away with the other. And sms-ing too. Cool. The kid. Claws at every single nipple he senses. Hungry, yes. Freaky too. But then again, he's too cute. Nobody minds anyway.

Kiddo doesn't have a name yet. I suggested Caleb during his second trimester. Sis wanted Javier during his third trimester. And now they want something else altogether. Haha. They have up to a month to conjure up his full name, so that's all right.

Poor kiddo's been in and out of hospitals this week. Been going for the jabs. And he's down with pretty bad jaundice. It's common amongst the kids. According to my mum, we all had it when we were tiny. But kiddo's rather severe. Just taken a blood test. He'll have to be admitted into the hospital if he attains a score of 15 for the blood test. His was 14.4. GOD. His mama has to bring him suntan every morning. EVEN THOUGH she's just discharged from the hospital as well. AND shes tearing her wound by pulling all kinds of stunts all day.

Well. So I discovered the wonders of a pacifier today. Kiddo wails. Stuff it in. It stops. He suckles and sleeps. As simple as that. Whoever invented the pacifier deserves a noble prize. So this useless bugger uncle of his only has this trick up his sleeve. THE PACIFIER. Kiddo cries. Repeats above process all over again. Hahaha.

Was lying on the bed with the baby. With his nose a mere 5 cm or less from mine and my arm curled around his soft body. Watched him all afternoon... Almost dozed off with him. Observed him all day. It's really amazing. Every little thing about him. His tiny nose, his tired eyes... His suckling mouth... His stretches. His kicks. His whines. His wails. It amazing. You can't stop to wonder how he'll ever turn out. And if all of us were like that before.

Thought about loads of stuff with him by my side. Life's been rather dark lately and I just hate almost every single part of it. Nothing's happening. It's the same old tasks I have to perform almost every other day. Why. Why me.

I have issues with myself. Nevermind. It's ok. I have my family with me.
I have reasons to smile. Even though my life stinks.
And I lost my ezylink card yesterday. Right after I've purchased over a hundred bucks worth of concession the very day before. Ack.

Whywhywhy. I'm losing myself again. I miss the life I had in jc. The person I was. Rather, the person I tried to be. And now. I'm nothing. Nothing at all.

Am I depressed? I'm not even sure anymore.

On the 6 May 07, 4.59am, my baby nephew arrived. Trust me, he's the sweetest little angel I've ever seen. Everything about him seems so... perfect. Yet miniature. Check out the little nose, the creased and wrinkly skin, the faint whines. He's the kid.

My sis (2nd) returned on the day kiddo arrived. It's meant to be a surprise for my mum since we arranged to celebrate mothers' day that sunday. AND kiddo decides to pop out on that day. Hah. Could've imagined how elated my mum was. She was speechless for quite a while.

That was quite a day. Till I was down with food poisoning that night. Made 7 trips to the loo. Puked twice. Man, never knew I had that much liquid inside me. Even now I feel pretty much like a blob of jelly.

Yes. Life stinks now. I'm reverted back to my melancholic self despite my efforts to change over the last couple of years. Oh well.

In case you're wondering, I'm given day off today. And I'm actually serving my National Service. Been feeling lousy about it. All my friends are somewhere else, sispec or ocs. And here I am... Doing what I'm doing.

Anywayy... Spiderman 3 was fun. Been looking forward to it all year. Then again, I'm a spidey craze. Any flick with spidey in it will be great to me. Speaking of which, perhaps I'll make a trip down to the library later to pick up a couple of spidey graphic novels to waste my day away. And yeah. I'm just wasting my life away these days.

Void of human contact. Friends seem so distant. Out of reach. Ah. Nevermind.

What a bitter soul I am.

I'm all alone at home right now. Mum's away to take care of kiddo. Kiddo was sent to the doc's yesterday cause of bloody stools. Hope he's alright now...

And please. Give me a place in medicine. I wanna run away from the life I'm leading right now.

Any nice movies to recommend? Feel like renting a few to bum around.

And I wonder, who're friends. Who bothers. Who's actually around.

Anyone out there? Someone. Anyone. Anyone really knows me at all? Ah. Perhaps I'm driven up the path of insanity again. Whee.
The monthly highlight of the month. The 10th. Why? It's payday. Woohoo. I'm loaded with cash on this everyday. Loaded in the army sense. I know, all the babes out there probably earn 3 to 4 times what we do now. We're pathetic.

Ok. Let me sign off before I wallow any deeper into my self pity. Bye.

Update

Yes. I've been posted to Nee Soon Camp. As a service medic. For now, I'm a temporary support staff over there till I receive further notice about my condition.
It's been 2 weeks since I reported my condition. Am still waiting for the referral letter to CGH.

So, at where I'm serving now, I'm reunited with my secondary 4 friends. Khee Ngiap and Wu Teng. Haha. It's funny how we've never spoken much back then. Now, we get to see one another 24/7. Oh, by the way, Ngiap's in charge of us.
I know. What the hell. Haha. It's pretty fun so far though.

It's weird. How I feel so distant from almost everyone else now. Everyone's just busy messing around with their own stuff. Oh well...
Anyway. I'm messing around wih my new laptop. Desktop died.
I'm contented =)

Oh my god. It's new year once again. The glaring decorations. The same old crappy celebration nonsense on the tele. The same old headache.

Ah yes. Relatives pop by to bombard a whole list of questions. And we'll have to smile politely and provide the answers required of us. Man, let this be over.

God. And I gotta be confined in Tekong once this is over.

Ack.

Once again I'm back from Tekong. Tekong's a pretty nice place actually, with the scenery and... all the greenery. My bunk faces the ferry terminal and the sandy beach. Scenic.

My dear ol' arm has failed me again. To my horror (exaggeration here, since I'm used to my defective arm by now), my arm was not... functional one morning. So all the hooha and whatnot, and I was sent to the medical centre.

An xray was taken and they decided not to keep me.
Yeah. Seems like I've severely damaged my ligaments, cartilage, joint, bones, nerves and muscles. Basically everything I can possibly find inside my shoulder region. Operation may be the only way to save my arms. Madness.

Meanwhile I shall try out half a year worth of physiotherapy. Ouch. Went yesterday. Twisted my joint all around. Almost yelled my guts out. Crap.

Pray for my arms, my friends.

My injuries aside, since they're reluctant to keep me in any combat units, I have to go. No more officer dreams for me.
Instead, I've been posted to Nee Soon camp as a service medic. HA.

Medic Ong. That. Still tickles me. Anyway, I've been admitted into the School of Military Medicine. COOL! Haha.

Shall go off to stone now. Defrag my comp. Attempt to put a stop to all its lagging.
SO. Pray. Pray for me. Pray for my arms. Pray for my patients. Hoho.

Ah right. For once I'm posting a picture of myself. That's right. MYSELF.

Upon close examination, you'll realise that I'm actually in the grey singlet with those four dreadful letters behind. Yeah. Those four. A-R-M-Y.

It's pretty amazing, really. The way how every single piece of this magnificent singlet is brilliantly and uniquely crafted to carry out its function. That is to cover whatever that's to be covered. And no. Definitely not those pits.

(Ah yes. Vera and Gorilla would get this. The singlets cover the essence of the be-dang-dangs nicely. Nothing more than those delightful... Things.)

I look a little different? Perhaps. In my honest opinion, its the fugly specs. Those freakin' specs costs me a hundred bucks (It's not really my fault that my degrees over 700 and my astigs over 200. I'm kinda made that way.) Did I mention about the spectacles band!? YES. Those black caterpillar-like straps stuck to the back of the brain. (And man, I did poke fun a hell lot at those kids with these straps. Fugly. Losers. All kinds of mean names you can possibly think of. Yeah. I know. Karma. I'm one of them now. And watch it, don't you even DARE laugh. Karma, my friend.)

I have no idea why everyone has to look the same inside. I mean, revealing singlets, cleanly yet awkwardly shaven brains, socks the colour of spinach and the stench of mothballs (That's if you're lucky. It's more likely to be sweat and unwashed shirts, I think.) I wouldn't be amused if all the parents mistake someone else as their kid. Its like, grab one and go. That's really funny. I would be rolling on the ground laughing if I weren't one of those kids. Fine. Laugh all you want if youre not one of those fools like me.

What can I say? Be grateful. Us guys are protecting you people from... Erm. All forms of threats! (I think.) Like what I've told Siok, each time you flip a tv channel, or slide into that hot tub of yours, or cuddle up in bed with a book, or simply gaze at the stars, remember. REMEMBER. Us. The real men out there, are fighting our guts out for you! (Even if some of us aren't really willing, it is important to note their efforts nonetheless.) And fret not, my friends, I assure you. We WILL be thinking of you guys in front of your plasma tv, jacuzzi, in your bed and wherever you are gazing at stars while we're in our shirts (emitting some form of odd stench, of course.) or in our unwashed undies. Or with our poor soles covered with nothing but blisters, well hidden in those black black boots. Or alone in the jungle swearing our guts out. We will think of you guys.

See. How much we're doing for you, my countrymen. And here you are (especially you girls!) are giggling at the thought of us being shaven naked. Shaven of all our dignity and pride. Most importantly, our vanity and need for shampoo. (Man, what am I gonna do with my nettle grass shampoo...) Ok. Fine. It's funny. Go ahead. Giggle. Darn. I can't possibly stop that can I? Haha. Funny lar. All clones. And UGLY clones. F-U-G-L-Y.

Wish me farewell, wish me luck. Ha.

It's ok. I shall embrace the erm. Experience. See, some people will never go through all this... Exciting stuff. Haha.

And what am I doing here. At 2am. I can't sleep. I'm nocturnal. It's kinda cool knowing that in a couple of days time, I'll perhaps be polishing my boots or trying to get those odd phones to sms at this time of the day. Or even more likely to be struggling to head towards... Lalaland (Guess who says lalaland. HA.) since it's lights out.

Fascinating. All the abbrevations. I have a long way to go. I mean, for example, PTP. Oh man, are we supposed to know what that is just by staring at those alphabets? The only thing I know of, that's close enough, is like PSP. HAHA.

Oh. Let me sidetrack a little. I've encountered some pretty odd road names these days. It's like those names you read when you just wake from a nap on a vehicle and you go, what the hell?! Am I dreaming?!

Say, for example, Little Road. Jalan Pisang (I think this means banana road or something.) and Kallang Pudding Road. And no, I did not make any of these up. They DO exist. Holy. Kallang Pudding's the worst. I passed by that on my way home today and yeah, =| -> precisely how I looked.

That's all for now. And Anansi Boys' a really good read. Warped (in the usual Gaiman way), but good nonetheless.

Now I shall embark on the journey to Lalaland. Night.